POISON

He said-“Drink!”
So I drank the thick syrup he gave
At first it was sweet but slowly it turned bitter
But I did not mind
Because my love for him was insanely blind

Every day he brought that drink with him
Garnished with his charming smile
His smile by dusk turned into a miscreant one
Filling the night with my shrill cries

By dawn he’d say I’m his kryptonite;
Overly exaggerated affection, disguised neatly
Laced lies and promises as hollow as god’s O
Would play in his favor every time

Slowly, subtly he poisoned my spirit
At first with the thick sweet richness
Of his seductive voice which
Turned into a sadistic hungry howl by twilight

I surrendered myself to his evil ways
As the disparaging grew stronger each day
I found myself in a cage whose key
I myself had smashed far away

Like a slave I served my master
And like a leech he bled me dry
Now nothing is left of me
I’m just another shadow that
Wanders under the open sky

Celestial Love

My darling you do know right?

That I love you in spite of every ‘in spite’

And forever would love you this way

I know you’d wonder-Why did I leave then?

Well sweetheart, have you ever seen

The sun and the moon together?

We always believed that I

was your apple sauce

And you my pork chop

Either went missing

The delight shall remain incomplete

But love, you do know it hit both of us

How weak was the foundation of this structure

Infallibility is not something each

Relationship can afford

With which I perfectly agree

But only if it were for errors committed

Honestly in love

This moon would have defied

The force of gravity to reach his sun

Even when it meant burning his identity

My ashes would also have

Whispered your name girl

If only our attempts had been honest

Just for once

For the eyes drifting upwards

Did see us together at times

But hon, never were we intertwined 

If only our apologies had some substance

If only our love were more than just pleasure

If only it were based on truth rather than fraudulence

If only we had recognized OUR relevance

I’ll not waste much of your precious time

End I shall this sorrowful ballad

With these final parting lines-

“That every night this moon re-lives

The vivid memory of

The light radiated from his sun

That helps him hide the bruises, ugly scars

Dark holes in his soul from

The world’s gaze

Shining brightly every crepuscule

Following a similar phenomenon

As that of the celestial sun- giving its light

From millions of miles away to its celestial moon

The distance in no way affects the connection they share

Cupcake, we both know that the moon

Will never have light of its own

 It is the sun that will forever be the source

And the miles will forever exist

And must be maintained

To prevent the breaking of hearts beyond repair

Prevention is a necessity

Since the sound of such an apocalypse

Might remain unheard

Receiving none's attention and solace

For sound does not travel in space”

 

Words

Sometimes when you read a verse
The words hit your soul hard
They make you wonder all night
“How can someone fabricate such a piece of art?”

The feeling each syllable holds
Gets carved into your heart
Words inspiring you to weave some of your own
Which might cause the ordinary populace to feel your warmth

With excitement flooding
You pick the quill only to wonder
Would your quill succeed in
Re-creating the magic
You recently witnessed?

You drop the quill
Not because of self-doubt
But because you just know
That some magic tricks only belong
With svelte magicians
And sometimes you yield sweet joy
In being touched by others
Just witnessing greatness…

Pessimism

A pit that will drown you is Pessimism

Those with glass houses occupying 10,000 acres

Of land are often found saying

A pit that is self-immolating

It can kill; make you struggle hard for breath

That is what Duncan, my next door neighbor

A life coach preaches

But for me it is the reality

The only thing seeming right in

This world quite wrong

Sanguinity might be beautiful but is unrealistic

Vineyards with grapes ripened and juicy

Mock my very existence, reminding me of

Felicity that I could possibly not conquer

Prima donnas , dressed like Monroe

Riding in their Porsche

Who prefer Sinatra’s ‘Fly me to the Moon’

Over ‘Only the Lonely’

Who speak of happiness and all things optimistic

When their souls are broken beyond repair

Contained with mercenary that wise don’t own

Hypocrisy flows through their demeanor (odium intended)

I for one cannot be colored

When my existence reminds only of blackness

If the touch of sunlight on my bare arms

Does not give me peace

Why should I pretend to be serene?

Why should I hide these dark

And morbid thoughts that turn into ink

Filling pages and pages

Covering the pages with fancy prose

Following inappropriate juxtaposition

Jeopardy it is as a few ignorant scholars

Tend to overlook these pages

Pages tattered like my soul

Highly contentious these words are considered

By those whose wisdom is shallow

Silence succumbs, making me

Wonder how terribly might speech

Sabotage their paradigm image

But these fancy unstitched stanzas

Sometimes free sometimes blank poetry

Unpolished proses bear the harsh truth

That this heart holds 

You are who you believe yourself to be

so don't think ill of yourself

think positive and things would

fall perfectly in place.....

follow your dreams, they know the way 

Being a Winner

Being a winner to me is not so much
about winning the Battle of Waterloo
Neither is it about defeating
the Axis Powers in WW2
Nor the heroism of Odysseus
after the Fall of Troy

It is to me something simpler but subtler
like the equanimity of Horatio in the Hamlet
or the fortitude of those who win unheard wars
Winners are those i'd say who in spite
of losing believe in the strength of their RESOLVE

My Heart

~Manu Mueller

“Julio is sweet
Julio is smart
Julio is a sweetheart”
Julio is Julia’s love
Julio and Julia both are Portuguese
Former for namesake, latter at heart

Julio’s America born
Writer he is but no ordinary
Languages French, Portuguese, German, Spanish
All flow through his soul
Virtuoso is the word they use to describe his artistry
And it was for one of his poems that he won Julia’s heart

Poem was 'Meu Coração'
Recited it was in Lisbon, Portugal
Near a beautiful eye catching lagoon
On a sunny busy day; Julia vividly remembered

Today was the day they stole each others' hearts
That is what led to this decision
Of trying a poem for her beloved
But the catch was she was trying to write in English
Her English was even worse than their old Spanish janitor

But she was not one to shy off from challenges
So she tried one more time-
“Julio is sweet
Julio is smart
Julio is a sweetheart
Julio makes me smile
Julio makes me laugh
Julio makes me blush
Julio makes me warm
Julio is my love
Julio is my heart
Julio is my heart”
The poem to her seemed terribly plain but effective
And no matter how hard she tried
It felt as if the words were stapled in her brain

And then she jumped like a kangaroo As the doorbell rang
Put on her slippers and hurried towards the door
Opened it and leaned forward to kiss him gently
She always knew when Julio was at the door

He was her Julio, her desire, her dream
Smiling at her, his eyes home to the bluest sea
They kissed again and this time more slowly
Letting the magic settle in the air more properly

Julia went to the kitchen and brewed some coffee
While Julio went to shower and as he removed his shirt
He saw a paper on the bed, bent he to hold it in his hand
And the lines on his face smoothened and turned into a nostalgic smile

Julia was busy making espresso Julio’s favorite
When Julio entered , the somehow, roulette shaped kitchen
With a paper in his hand on which stretched Julia’s curvy handwriting
“Oh! Wrote that poem for you I titled it ‘My Heart’
Not very flamboyant, simple like you
Hope you’d appreciate my hard work”
Said she, as if the words were sewn in her heart
Then all of a sudden both erupted into laughter
Laughter filled with a sweet secret each beheld
Lucky enough I was to have known their little secret
Years ago, similar words had crusaded Julia's heart
Near a beautiful eye catching lagoon;
On a sunny busy day in Lisbon, Portugal.

Pagan

~ Manu Mueller

The cathedral bells rang as Sarah’s heart raced like a bullet
Today was when Joe would arrive; waiting she was for his embrace
Whilst, Richard sat solemnly then stood and struggled
Trying to grapple the names of the Apostles

There Sylvia, as Richard would call her: grandma
Brewed her special tea; the fragrance brought Richard towards her
He recited the names of the Apostles-“Saint Peter, Saint John, and Saint um….”
The last name tried he hard to pull
“He is invoked in helpless situations” his grandma prompted
Without reluctance he exclaimed-“Saint Jude!”

Sarah the mother entered and Richard flung into her arms
Without much ado Joe the father jived into the hall
All of them hugged and kissed like mad, and Sylvia the grandmother sent a little prayer to the Lord
She does that a lot, was brought up in a pretentious Christian family

The Bishop preached the Gospel; all rose for the Morning Prayer to be sung
Seeing him standing there singing in the choir made her heart burst with joy
Her little Richard singing the prayer; when all was done Richard walked hand in hand with his grandmother
And every night she recited him a verse of the holy Bible

Joe’s love for Sarah was taciturn
Sarah’s, more strident in approach
And whenever mother talked Richard felt
That a semblance tarnished his father’s soul

Five years after, the reverberations
of the Psalms and the Eulogies made his ears hurt
The sounds almost eerie made his chest burn
Tears incessantly slipped damping his black suit
His mother was an orthodox Jewish, the lapel
of his coat cut right over the heart manifested the harrowing absence
Making him realize the real reason behind his father’s reticence

In the spring of ’58 his father left
With a woman Richard would have never suspected
But that was not all spring had to offer
Richard fell in love with the girl of his dreams
She reminded him of his mother when she smiled
But glamour supposedly overpowered this sweet joy

And one wintry night Richard fled from his house
Leaving his grandmother to cry
She knows not where he is
For he never returned to his only lover alive

Roaming he is in the filthy streets of Nogales, Sonora
The a Capella that the Armenian Church nearby played wracked his nerves
The sermons that he’d heard over the years long back lost their effervescence
As the faiths Judaism, Christianity, Islam all seemed a cruel joke
Follower of Satan some call him when he walks down the road

Had it not been for the heinous conspiracies of the world
Poor Richard would have still loved the divinity
But sick he was of the demons of the world’s and his own
His ingenuity, innocence, spontaneity were taken away by the supreme
His heart no more hurts as madman he hath become

But somewhere in the abyss formed in his heart
He wants to believe the priests for once and for all
But the ineptness of the cause restraints him each time
Once was a devotee now a Pagan he’s forced to be for life

Beyond my reach

I stood there gazing at the sea,

Disconnected from the rest of the world,

Thinking where life had brought me-

Asking myself-Do I really belong here?

The feeling of belongingness, humph

Seems a foreign affair,

Now this realization has taken refuge deep inside me,

Making me feel hollow and empty;

The tiny waves tickle my feet,

As I stare hard at the sea-

Searching for answers to questions

That no one else would readily give me.

Whom should I complain?

And how many times would I?

As hardships have ailed me big time,

Of this predicament I have nothing much to say,

Young faces bubbling with joy,

Laughing and making sand castles;

A stronger wave comes and the castle is shattered,

But the wave doesn't stop the kids from making another,

Their energy makes me smile a little, a little

A newly-wed couple French kissing, French kissing

They made me feel jealous

Their happiness made me feel jealous.

Always dreamt of a beautiful life

But never did I get one,

Always tried to give in my best

But never did I get the best gift,

Tired I am of trying to pretend,

I cannot fake happiness

Happiness is something I always wanted to achieve,

But my efforts have always failed,

Leaving me with sadness,

The kind of sadness

That would last forever.  

Love....never was asked

He did not know happiness without her

He could only be happy with her

He felt lost and lonely when she wasn’t around

He couldn’t help but smile when she was around

He loved the sound of her laugh

He loved the birth mark on her neck

He loved the way she cried softly during movies in the theatre hall

He loved the sparkle that never left her eyeballs

While she,

She knew happiness even without him

She could be happy without him

She felt free and elated when he wasn’t around

A tinge of insecurity outlined her smile when he was around

She liked his voice but loved hers

She liked his honey colored hair but felt hers were better

She liked his crooked smile but could have never loved it

She liked his eyes but loved the face that was reflected from them

She never said she loved him

She always said-“We’re friends”

But as time passed

She did not act very much like one

He assumed she had fallen for him

But she hadn’t

He fell in love with her

But she didn’t

From the moment he saw her

He thought that she was the one

And it was until later

When he realized that she wasn’t

She kept saying-“We’re friends”

And he did not understand why?

As they did nothing of the sort as friends did

When he asked him she said frowning

“I do not want to be more than friends”

The answer to him seemed pretty dry

She broke up and said it was meant to be

He shouted, cried and hit an unknown street

There were many fish in the pond he thought

But none matched her elegance

She was special, he thought,

She was special, maybe, because he loved her

She adored him

She was fond of him

But with him she was just not sure

Of what she was sure with John

When he heard this he was shocked

She had never asked him to love

But he did anyways

He gave her all that he had

Even when she hadn’t asked

Now he is loathing in a corner

And she, living her life with another

I wonder whose fault is that.

#My Experience

Dear friend, 

I recently observed a pattern in the blogs of my fellow blog mates. They usually write about their experiences in life. So I thought even i'll write about my experiences. One such event that i remember most clearly is reading the novel "The Perks of being a Wallflower". i don't know if anyone of you has read that novel but i don't care much about it. I have read this novel a hundred times ( hyperbole, learned in my English class) and it just seems to get better and better each time. Shocking right? Whenever i read this novel i can't help but feel infinite. The novel is written in a very simple language. That one thing that draws me into this novel is the honesty of the protagonist. He is one of the wisest characters i have ever encountered in the history of my novel reading career. The world from his eyes seems so beautiful. Sometimes i see a glimpse of me in Charlie(protagonist).  There comes a time in our lives when we all use thought not to participate in life. But in Charlie's case it is a way of life. As the novel progresses he tries to participate that is when he meets three people who truly change his life. He makes best friends for life. He becomes more social and tries to live his life like every other teenager. The book is about the challenges of being a teenager from the eyes of one. This book is a brilliant, outstanding, mind-blowing account of a teenager who tries to fit in. I won't tell you all about the book, for sure. I would suggest that you read the book for yourself, it'll be an awesome experience i can vouch for that.

Love always, 
Manu  

#Believe

Dear friend,

We all have that spark inside us. That one thing that makes us stand out in the crowd, that one thing that makes us unique and original. We need to find that missing sparkle that’ll make us shine as bright as the sun. Some people know their passions from the day they are born some need to find them. Finding may not be easy but it sure as hell is not difficult actually it is really fun. So get up, speak up and just do your thing for all would be completely fine. Never stop dreaming (not day dreaming) and have faith in yourself. Believe because that’s the most important thing of all. 

Love always,
Manu

PRIDE

Something was eating his insides

Unaware of this truth he walked down the aisle

Considering himself and his manners the best of all

Exhibiting the classical demeanour of the aristocracy

Narcism ripping off his prudence

Vanity had shaken his wisdom

It had stripped him off his rationality

Trapping him in a maze of false pride

Forgotten he had his felicity

His eyes looked at the populace in disdain

Ostentation surrounded him from every corner

And it was not long before

His ego, he was not able to bear

In the pool of self importance

He had lost his near and dear

Affectation had vexed his nerves

Affliction which was unknown till now

Became a very close friend somehow

A huge county he may own

But its use was not known

As there lived no one he loved

Except his pompous soul

Lost in his thoughts he wondered

What had caused such turmoil?

That was when he reflected upon his selfish ways

Diamonds, rubies, emeralds

May fancy your psyche

People's praises may raise your stature high

But n'er should they turn you into

A conceited beast who receives

From the world hate, hate and only hate.....

When the Past Calls……......

He lied on the lush grass

Contemplating about his life

 When he heard a melancholy song

That drew him in and like a fluid flowed in his mind

The words of the song reminded him of a past

That was now dead and forgotten

Hidden in a forbidden land

That no one sane dared to trespass

The plaintive song struck his heart strings hard

A lump formed in his throat

Making him cough hard

The tune started to sting ripping his ears

He felt as if blood was spurting out from within

Dysphoria wrapped around him like a venomous shroud

While he jerked in hysteric directions

Like a madman he shouted

Lord! Save me! Save me!

As the song came to a halt

He tried to regain his calm

Tears burned at the back of his eyes

Through excruciating pain

He remembered the words of the Psalm

“Even though I walk through the valley

of the shadow of death

I fear no evil, for you, are with me”

As he strengthened his resolve

Shoving away his dreaded past

And continued his lone journey

On an unknown, less travelled path

When the past calls

It makes him stumble and fall

Subtly poisoning his conscience

Inch by inch breaking his resilience

Making him dead and hollow

Through every passing mile

My Sins

O! My love, O! My sweet

I ask thou to slay me

For my sins have hurt thee

Allow my slaughtered body to lie in thy feet

Futile is my existence

I feel like a nonentity

As my unholy deeds

Have bruised not just one but many

I am the reason behind the tears

Which trickle down thine eyes

I am the one whose malice

Has caused this apocalyptic tide

O! My love, O! My sweet

Thy honey smooth skin

Is covered in blisters because of me

I beg thy sacred soul to rupture my grotesque heart!

And wing it in a far off sea     

     

Solitude

Amidst all the laughter, voices and cheers
There was a soul who moved here and there
Unnoticed and unheard it crept in the shadows
Hoping it might find someone in the crowd that echoed

But no one came and no one saw
How devoid was her soul she thought
As she sat on a nearby bench
Inhaled and exhaled lonliness
That made her heart wrench

Solitude was her only friend
That wrapped around her every now and then
Not caring about her blemishes
Accepting her without any second guesses

I....

Devastation grips me I can't find my way out

"Where are you my savior?" My heart shouts

But there was nothing, no one but eerie darkness

Surrounding me and pulling me into the emptiness

Oh Lord! I cried in the dark of the night

Would my life ever be beautiful and bright?

There was nobody who answered or even cared to listen

The noise of my soul, ravaged and broken

I ran and ran and ran

But could not find the gate

That would lead me out of this pit of misery to a place where i could find peace again

Fear hammer locked me

Leaving me in a tousled state

Pain engulfed my body

Severely wounding my gait

Tears flooded out of my eyes

I could see my end approaching

I lied on the dead leaves

And started weeping

Not a single soul heard my sobs

Nobody came to my rescue

A venomous gale hit me

And i knew i wouldn't make through

My heart dropped

I was ready to die

I had accepted my fate

But suddenly i heard a voice, wry

"Don't let your strength fade

Protect it before it's too late."

Those words sank in my skin

And gave me courage to stand and up was my chin

The world may not be in my favor

But i will always be

Don't need any savior

As a rescuer lies within me

I mustered all the courage that i could

And the invisible manacles around my wrists broke

My cry pierced the night

And a ball of light blinded my sight

I heaved the luminous cannon in the air

The ball tore the darkness

And the entire forest illuminated

Sunlight once again fell on my face

As i gazed

At the beauty of Mother nature

That reflected the beauty of my own stature

A triumphant smile plastered my face

As i wondered in amazement  

Tears

Tears of happiness filled his eyes

He felt like the happiest man alive

When he saw the tiny body of his son

His delicate face made his heart burst

Burst into eternal bliss

As today he was blessed

With the best gift

That God could ever give

He shouted all about the streets

"Annabeth! I'm a father" He exclaimed as he passed Dunken's Eatery

"Ricky! Did you hear I’m a father?"

He screamed, shrieked and shouted in joy as if he had reached infinity

But the doctors revealed something bitter

That made him shiver

A fatal heart disease his son had acquired

On hearing this, his soul was on fire

He tried his best

Consulted every doctor in town

He prayed all day and night

But the prayers couldn't save his son from dying

His heart sank deep

All that he could do now was weep

He felt half dead

With pain seeping in his body every second

A year has passed now

But the wound is still fresh somehow

As he sheds a tear almost everyday

Asking Lord "Why couldn't my son stay?"